Use a combination of listening, empowerment, time, attention, and branding to make almost any day special.

The idea of the child choosing the activity can be a powerful one (especially if it’s just one child in a multiple child family!), but you can definitely help the process along by providing a few suggestions and guidelines.

One idea for a treat is when one child gets to go do something special with just mommy or daddy - a personal “I’m the center of your universe” day. This does not have to be anything outlandish or costly - one favorite in our family has often been a trip to the pet store to see the live critters and the fish in the aquariums - just something that feels special.

Another idea we heard about was the “yes” day, when within reason, a parent says yes to the requests and choices of that child for the whole day, or for even just a specified time period (Thanks Dean!).

Often, days blend into each other and we are all very busy. To solve this we create elaborate special events or plan vacations. A “mommy day,” “daddy day,” or a “yes” day can be just as meaningful to a child - sometimes even more so.

You know already that we are big fans of games - just remember that kids also love video games. 

There are a number of reasons that they will love playing with you. First, you are giving them implicit approval that playing the game is ok (they may be worried about that if you never play with them). Second, they will see you model how to learn something new. Third, they are likely to be better than you - this is a rarity for them in childhood.

Plus, it will probably be fun for you and give you more insight into why the games bring so much joy to your child. You might even enjoy it!

We live in an amazing time in history, but sometimes fail to take advantage. We can speak face to face, through video, across the world, for free. This assumes you have a computer with a web camera and fast enough internet, but many of us have the tools and fail to act. 

Make today the day you break through that invisible wall, sign up for a service like Skype, and talk with a relative. 

Our youngest likes this so much he often will choose it when he has free time. This is a great way to encourage reading as he can read a book long distance to his aunt (for example). Making connections, building relationships, extending language skills ... what a great way to learn!

It is no mystery that we at JLN are huge fans of games, but this recommendation is about getting together with other families for a multi-hour gaming extravaganza. Just add some food and everybody wins!

For adults, it is a chance to relax and play some games (a rarity for many of us). For children, it is a chance to play games with other people, cross ages (older kids playing some younger games and vice versa), and play games with other adults. Plus, including multiple families means new games, and children pretty universally love OPT (other people’s toys).

Storytelling is an incredibly powerful medium for sharing important values, transferring information, and building language skills. It also can provide a glimpse into your past that helps your child understand who you are and what makes you tick.

In many families, stories are what bond the generations together. Your children will surprise you with how well they remember these moments even months later. The honesty, the sharing, and the joy of story are important and could be a great part of your family time.

It is fun to sing, but it can be a little bit embarrassing too - at least for the majority of us. Singing in the car has some distinct advantages, though: everyone is trapped, there is not a lot to do, and once a couple of people start singing it is easy for others to “join the crowd.”

This is a great way to share music, often starting with a favorite song chosen by the youngest member of the family. This could be done using favorite CDs, the radio, or an ipod/mp3 player. Singing is universal, so providing practice for children while sharing a special family moment is a great opportunity in more ways than one.

Sometimes adults get frustrated because children will not jump into new activities and situations, but if you think about it, adults generally avoid new activities and situations and are risk averse. 

Modeling risk taking by openly trying new, possibly embarrassing things, can be incredibly powerful for your children to see - and can lead to lots of positive conversation. It could be jumping into a sport your child is playing, singing, playing one of their favorite video games, or any new activity that seems relevant and interesting to your child. Try it, you might like it. ;)

At the Joyful Learning Network we highlighted the importance of family dinners in a recent JLN newsletter, but it is worth bringing back as an FTIP because it is so important. Modern life in America is hectic, but setting a standard (or at least a routine) for family dinners can pay off in a number of ways:

- helping create a stable environment for your children
- helping establish a healthy lifestyle
- helping with your child’s health and nutrition
- providing an opportunity for discussion and getting to know each other
- letting your kid/s know that you want to spend time with them
… and so much more.

There are many terrific resources for family dinners, again a few of these are highlighted in weekly wave #5 - check it out!

Questions matter. Some have argued that the quality of the questions we ask is more important than the answer. Without wading too far into the debate we do want to suggest that one way to bring joyful learning to your children is by helping them process the school experience with more effective question prompts.

The standard question in most families (including ours until recently) is “How was your day?” or “What did you learn in school today?” As most parents know, these questions do not generally elicit detailed or interesting responses. We have found that the prompt “Tell me your three favorite (or best or another word) things (or activities) today” has led to much longer responses that not only provide insight in and of themselves, but lead to follow up questions that also have great value. For example, one day (actually on more than one occasion) my son Alton stated that reading was one of his favorite activities. I then asked which book he read and found out about his latest book. He was able to tell me how long he read for and whether there was a specific lesson or focus or whether it was just free reading. We are learning things about the class, the school, and the learning all of the time through this question prompt. We often will also include “The one worst thing about the day” and have found that to have great value as well.

Remember, these prompts may or may not work for you. The important thing is not to assume that your children do not want to talk about school with you, but rather think about new ways to frame or open the discussion that leads to reflection and dialogue. This improves the quality of your relationship and helps them process both school and learning.