Questions matter. Some have argued that the quality of the questions we ask is more important than the answer. Without wading too far into the debate we do want to suggest that one way to bring joyful learning to your children is by helping them process the school experience with more effective question prompts.

The standard question in most families (including ours until recently) is “How was your day?” or “What did you learn in school today?” As most parents know, these questions do not generally elicit detailed or interesting responses. We have found that the prompt “Tell me your three favorite (or best or another word) things (or activities) today” has led to much longer responses that not only provide insight in and of themselves, but lead to follow up questions that also have great value. For example, one day (actually on more than one occasion) my son Alton stated that reading was one of his favorite activities. I then asked which book he read and found out about his latest book. He was able to tell me how long he read for and whether there was a specific lesson or focus or whether it was just free reading. We are learning things about the class, the school, and the learning all of the time through this question prompt. We often will also include “The one worst thing about the day” and have found that to have great value as well.

Remember, these prompts may or may not work for you. The important thing is not to assume that your children do not want to talk about school with you, but rather think about new ways to frame or open the discussion that leads to reflection and dialogue. This improves the quality of your relationship and helps them process both school and learning.