"Over-parenting's faulty logic"
Madeline Levine, SF Gate, August 10, 2012

"Counterintuitive as it seems, the very things we're doing to secure our children's futures can end up compromising them. Pushing and over-scheduling prevent them from becoming competent adults capable of the resilience, perseverance, motivation and grit that business leaders say they'll need to compete in tomorrow's workforce. Just as importantly, it interferes with the ability to cultivate healthy relationships and to feel that life is meaningful.

"Many parents have significant misunderstandings about how children learn and what circumstances are likely to drive success in them. Our (culturally sanctioned) faulty thinking is pushing us to do, in many cases, the exact opposite of what kids need to thrive.
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"Studies show that kids enrolled in academic-based preschools actually tend to fall behind their peers who attend play-based preschools by the fourth grade.
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"Self-directed play is the work of childhood. It's a classroom in which kids develop a whole set of skills that really matter in life. Consider what happens in a simple game of chase: Kids must agree on the game and cooperate with each other. They must determine who will be the leader, who will be the follower and when it's time to renegotiate. When we fill their days with classes, practices and games, there's just no time left for learning these critical lessons.

"Most experts agree that kids should have twice as much unstructured free time as structured playtime. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends at least 60 minutes a day. If they can get that 60 minutes outdoors - climbing trees, chasing fireflies or playing baseball in an empty lot - so much the better."

"Raising Successful Children"
Madeline Levine, New York Times, August 4, 2012

"HANGING back and allowing children to make mistakes is one of the greatest challenges of parenting. It’s easier when they’re young — tolerating a stumbling toddler is far different from allowing a preteenager to meet her friends at the mall. The potential mistakes carry greater risks, and part of being a parent is minimizing risk for our children.

"What kinds of risks should we tolerate? If there’s a predator loose in the neighborhood, your daughter doesn’t get to go to the mall. But under normal circumstances an 11-year-old girl is quite capable of taking care of herself for a few hours in the company of her friends. She may forget a package, overpay for an item or forget that she was supposed to call home at noon. Mastery of the world is an expanding geography for our kids, for toddlers, it’s the backyard; for preteens, the neighborhood, for teens the wider world. But it is in the small daily risks — the taller slide, the bike ride around the block, the invitation extended to a new classmate — that growth takes place. In this gray area of just beyond the comfortable is where resilience is born."

"Study: Kids' Friends — Not Grades — Lead To Adult Well-Being"
Anna North, BuzzFeed, August 2012

"Stories of parents pushing kids to succeed in school above all else have been making headlines lately, but new research has found that social relationships are a much better predictor of adult well-being than a kid's grades.

"They found that social connectedness was highly correlated with adult well-being. Academic achievement, however, was not. The authors noted that they might have seen more of a connection if they'd included factors like job satisfaction in their measure of well-being, but they left these out on purpose. Their goal was to study not the traditional markers of success, but instead to look at peoples' "positive emotional functioning, sense of coherence, social engagement and character values." And as it turns out, kids' social lives seem to have a greater effect on the development of those qualities than their test scores do.

"This came as no surprise to John Stanrock, psychologist and author of the textbook Adolescence. He says there's a general feeling among some child development experts that in an age of No Child Left Behind and constant standardized testing, "the social world of adolescence has totally been neglected." He adds that schools don't spend enough money on counseling services, which can help kids with difficulties fit in better.